01.01.2017
January

I’m on the train right now, I’ve not spoken much about the train so far although its fair to say that for every day I’ve been at the Frankendael since May I’ve spent about two and a half hours on the train getting there and back. Yes I’m a commuter. Its quite frustrating, I don’t really like the train. Sometimes I can work, but mostly I just check stuff on my phone or sleep. I like that it gives time to listen to music, that’s probably the best bit about the journey. When the weather’s good or the light’s doing something unusual you can get a sense of place, a sense of distance. One of those spine tingling moments when reality seems to hit harder than usual. We all strive to reach these moments I guess, but they’re few and far between. I always think they’re something to do with déjà vous, a noise you almost recognise, a scent you’ve come across before, the way the reflected light sill warms the skin. When I worked as a postman in Rotterdam I used to deliver to this sun tan studio and every time I approached I got just such a feeling. I used to look forward to that part of the round especially just so I could get that sensation. You see their air conditioning was pumping the hot scented air out. I don’t know if it was deliberately perfumed or if it was coming from some of the tanning products inside. Whatever way this scent transported me instantly back to a nervous teenage excitement. I’ve had a cold this last week and its felt like my head’s been buried in an oily puddle, but today, today I feel alive again.